


Luck and Wonder

by Coby_Thinks



Series: L.A.W. AU [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Bisexual Logan, F/M, HOW DO YOU TAG THINGS, I should know by now, M/M, Multi, Trans Virgil, but I don't, enjoy this i guess, idk - Freeform, oh well, polyamorous, strong virgil, virgil is stronk, yeet yeet have another one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22304617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coby_Thinks/pseuds/Coby_Thinks
Summary: Virgil and Logan's origin story for the L.A.W. AU!! Set when Logan and Virgil were in college... so roughly... five or six years before Love and War. They been together for ages lmaoooooWarnings: arguments, transphobia, self-deprecating thoughts, suicidal thoughts, idiots in love.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Original Female Character
Series: L.A.W. AU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1504187
Comments: 14
Kudos: 108





	1. Part One: Virgil

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Sorry, it's taken a bit for me to get this to ya... my bad! Upon editing, I discovered that Logan and Virgil's origin story deserved more than just a one-shot. so, there's gonna be two parts! The next one should be coming soon!
> 
> Warnings: arguments, transphobia, self-deprecating thoughts, suicidal thoughts, two idiots in love, food mentions.
> 
> Enjoy!

Virgil sighed, reaching up to pull the hair tie out, pulling his hands through the hair that tumbled down. It was only down for a moment, though, as he smoothed it back again and redid the ponytail, trapping the strands that had escaped during his run. It was early - the sun was still just barely rising, despite Virgil having been here for an hour already. He wasn’t a morning person - but he also wasn’t about to go to the gym when there would be a lot of other people. For one thing, he didn’t like people. For another, he didn’t wear his binder while working out.

Virgil chugged some water, then pulled open his locker and glanced around. Empty, as always. Good. Virgil pulled off the sports bra and tank top combo he was wearing, replacing it with the binder and long-sleeved tee. 

Someday. He reminded himself. Someday, hopefully soon, he’d have the funds to get top surgery. Until then, he had to be safe. Take care of himself. And try to convince his family that he wasn’t insane. That would be easy, right?

He snorted to himself, packing up and grabbing his backpack. Headphones on, shoes tied, everything was fine.

Too bad he was an idiot and didn’t watch where he was going when he left the locker room.

“Oh!” Someone grabbed his arm before he could fall, steadying both of them. “Apologies - no one is ever here this early.”

“S-sorry,” Virgil mumbled, headphones dangling around his neck from the fall. 

The stranger let go, holding up his hands in apology. He was tall - even taller than Virgil - and his dreadlocks were pulled back in a ponytail behind his head. He was intimidating, despite Virgil knowing that he could easily best the nerd in a fight. 

Nerd - where did that come from? Maybe the glasses. Maybe the tie. Maybe the way he’d said ‘apologies’ instead of something normal.

So he was intimidating. And a nerd. And, unfortunately, really fucking hot. Virgil’s face warmed and he tried to think of something to say, to no avail.

“I believe I recognize you,” the nerd tilted his head with a smirk. “I think we’re in the same graphic design class.”

“Oh.” Virgil’s eyes widened. Someone noticed him? Fuck. Why did he have to be so tall? It wasn’t fair. Even as a trans guy, he was a giant. Truly, the universe hated him. “Um, I-I guess… maybe? I take several, um…”

“Do you?” the nerd’s face lit up. “You must be more artistic than me, I suppose. An art major?”

“Um… yeah.” Virgil rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not great, though. I just like designing things…”

“Well, sorry for holding you up.” the nerd smiled sheepishly. “You seemed to be very much on your way.”

“Wh- oh, no,” Virgil stumbled over his words. “I just- hah, I just speedwalk, um, it’s a gay thing.” Well, fuck. Nice. Awesome. Virgil was an idiot.

“Anything’s a gay thing if you’re gay enough.” the nerd said with a grin, holding out a hand. “My name is Logan, I help run the GSA here on campus. I haven’t seen you at any events?”

“Oh.” Virgil shook his hand numbly. “Um, yeah. Uh… oh, I’m Virgil.” he must seem so stupid he was an idiot, oh god he was a fucking idiot this guy must feel so sorry for him. “I’m not… a people person. Or an event person.”

“Perfectly understandable.” Logan adjusted his glasses. “Though, if you are interested, I’m only taking that graphic design class in an attempt to improve my poster making skills. It has yet to be fruitful, would you be interested in helping design some things for an event? Only a few people involved in that.”

“Oh.” Virgil blinked a few times, and couldn't help but smile. “Um, sure. What’s the event?”

“Transgender day of visibility is coming up,” Logan hummed. “We wanted to have a small celebration or an informative event for anyone who wants to learn more. Still working out the details, but having someone good with design would certainly help out.”

“Right.” Virgil looked away at the mention of said day. “Well, I’d definitely be happy to help with that. You have any trans folk on your team?”

“A few,” Logan shrugged. “We’re still small, of course. It only started last year. Lots of people attend, not a lot of people donate or join the team. We cannot pay, after all.”

“That’s fine!” Virgil waved his hands a bit. “Um, yeah. I’d love to help.”

“Wonderful.” Logan pulled out his phone, handing it over after a moment for Virgil to put his number in. “I’ll message you details, we usually meet in the library. The administration has yet to give us a lounge, despite there being more queer individuals recognized at each event.”

“That’s just how it be sometimes.” Virgil handed the phone back, face burning. “Um, thanks. I guess.”

“For what, almost knocking you over?” Logan chuckled softly. “You’re welcome.”

“I’ll let you get to…” Virgil gestured vaguely toward the locker rooms and gym. Logan nodded, though he didn’t seem very excited.

“Yes, of course. I’ll message you soon.” Logan smiled, and Virgil’s heart nearly died.

“Right.” He stepped away, watching Logan duck into the locker room.

Oh, fuck.

What the hell just happened?

* * *

“I already have a few ideas.” Virgil hummed, opening his computer in front of them. 

Logan had been telling the truth - there were only three people total other than Virgil. Logan, and two people Virgil had already forgotten the names for. Well done, Virgil. 

“Do we want rainbows, or do we want trans colors? Or both. I have some with both.” he clicked through the designs one by one. “And obviously, the info is just generic since I don’t know what we’re setting up yet.”

“Well, Logan wanted a panel.” one of the others said. “Despite the fact that he only knows two trans people that would do such a thing.”

“A panel.” Virgil bit his lip, glancing at Logan. Logan shrugged, messing with his dreadlocks. Fuck, Virgil needed to stop getting distracted. “That’s you two, right?”

“That’s why we’re here.” the other laughed. “Administration won’t let us do one unless we have three people, plus the question reader. You know anyone who might be interested?”

“Not sure.” Virgil shrugged vaguely. Right, they didn’t know. They just knew he was gay. Fuck, he wanted to help Logan out but a panel? That’d be insane. “It’s your guys' day, though. Logan might run the club, but he wants this for you.”

“Yeah, he keeps telling us that.” the first elbowed Logan lightly. Logan smiled.

“I can’t represent you, Mallory.” he reminded her. “I’m very cis.”

“Yeah, we’re aware.” 

Virgil laughed at Mallory’s sarcastic tone.

“I like the design with both,” the other said - drawing their attention back to the designs. “Because, like… trans people aren’t just trans. Right? They can be straight, gay, bi, pan, ace, whatever. Rainbow is an umbrella symbol for everyone.”

“Alright.” Virgil clicked back, nodding. “Thanks, erm…”

“Alex.” they smiled lightly and Virgil nodded.

“Thanks, Alex. Okay, so that narrows it down. Do we want a landscape or portrait?”

“Portrait, I think.” Mallory hummed. “We won’t take discrimination lying down.”

“I don’t think anyone will look into it that much.” Logan chuckled. “But that works for me.”

“Awesome.” Virgil smiled, looking at the preferred design. “It’s a good one - my favorite, at least. So now we just need to figure out this event. You only have two weeks, Logan.”

“I know, I know.” Logan rubbed his eyes. “So, we’ll have the information booth. Food trucks. Alex will sell their merch and art. If we find one more willing person, we can end the event with a panel.”

“What kind of questions are on this thing?” Virgil asked lightly, grabbing the paper with the date and times scribbled on it.

“Just questions about life experience,” Mallory shrugged. “It’d be awesome if we could find a dude for it, you’ve got me. You’ve got Alex. Do you know any cool trans guys, Vee?”

“I dunno about cool,” Virgil mumbled, biting his lip. “But like, I’d be willing to hop on and help you out. Might be stressful, but I’ve got some hella life experiences.”

“Wh- you’re trans?” Alex sat up in surprise. 

“Hmm.” Virgil nodded, selecting a font in curiosity. “Don’t seem so surprised. Skinny white kids might be the stereotype, and I’m certainly neither. But yes, I’m trans. You only need one more person for the panel, Logan. I can do it.”

“Are you, like, sure?” Mallory asked worriedly. “Alex and I are one thing, but… you totally pass really well. You wanna blow that?”

“Blow what?” Virgil sighed, rubbing his forehead. “I’m not trying to live stealth, Mal. It just happened. I don’t care if anyone has a problem with me - odds are I could knock them out anyway.”

“I did meet you at the gym.” Logan mused. “You go there a lot?”

“You went there at all?” Alex burst out laughing, looking at Logan. Logan scowled. “Why? You hate that place!”

“I’m attempting to live a healthy lifestyle,” Logan muttered. 

“I go every day.” Virgil chuckled, adjusting the text box in front of him. “Because I’m an anxious mess, and knowing that I can beat up anyone who tries me helps with that.”

“You, my friend.” Alex slammed their hand on the table. “You are an icon.”

“Nah.” Virgil scowled, squinting at the screen. God, it didn’t look right. What the heck was missing- oh. “Fuck, we need some Enby colors on this.”

“But the pastel was so aesthetic!” Alex gasped.

“We can still have it be pastel.” Virgil hummed, switching to the base layer. “I mean, the black will be gray, but that’s fine.”

“The panel will start at three,” Logan said, adding it onto his scribbled note-paper. “Thank you, Virgil. You didn’t have to… even say anything.”

“I wanted to,” Virgil muttered, then smiled as the colors fell into place. “There - wait -” he switched back to the top layer, then leaned away. “That works.”

“You’re amazing.” Mallory decided. “We’re keeping you, Virgil. You’re trapped on our team forever now. Sorry.” 

“Ah, well.” Virgil smiled and glanced at Logan, who seemed amused. “I can handle it.”

* * *

The panel went well. Virgil managed not to have a breakdown, and it was actually pretty fun. People asked good questions, and he really only had to answer a few of them. Thank god Alex and Mallory were both super outgoing. 

Of course, not everything was perfect.

“So you all think you’re something special.” someone walked over to their chairs after the panel, as people trickled away to the food trucks and information booths. Virgil glanced up from his phone, noting how the other two weren’t sure what to say.

“Doesn’t everyone?” Virgil spoke, tucking his phone into his pocket.

“Oh, don’t give me that. You’re all a disgrace.” the guy - a typical white jock - laughed. He was fit, and he seemed very confident in himself. Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“How so? Please, I’m all for improving upon myself.” he sat forward, resting his chin on his hand.

“Vee-”

“You think you’re a man just because you changed your name?” the guy asked, folding his arms. “You’re no man, and you never will be.” Ouch. That stung.

“Don’t see how that’s a disgrace,” Virgil said, narrowing his eyes. “And if you hate me so much, why are you worried about what I do with my life?” 

The guy opened his mouth to retort but stuttered for a moment before closing it. Alex snorted, and Virgil’s heart rate leaped when the jock turned toward them, violently hauling them to their feet. Oh hell no.

“That’s it.” Virgil stood up, shedding his hoodie and shoving between them. “Alex, you and Mal should go check in with Logan.”

“R-Right.” Alex tripped backward, grabbing Mallory’s hand.

“Now.” Virgil turned, smirking and stretching his arms slightly. Without the sweatshirt, and when he wasn’t slouching, Virgil knew he looked absolutely terrifying. It's why he usually wore the jacket in the first place. “You are never going to talk to them again. Got it?”

“Holy shit…” the guy stumbled away, waving his hands. “Don’t… okay, I’m leaving.” he was gone in moments, joining a group of his friends a few yards away, who all stared as Virgil watched them leave the courtyard. Good.

Virgil chuckled, pulling his jacket back on as he went to find Logan and the others. If that guy had hurt Alex, he was going to find him and give him a reason to be afraid.

“Virgil, what the hell?” Alex met him by the information booth, where Logan was awkwardly comforting a crying Mallory. “Since when are you a freaking… since when are you that ripped?”

“Since always.” Virgil shrugged. “Are you okay? God, if he hurt you…”

“I’m fine.” Alex waved a hand. “That was awesome, Vee, oh my god.” Virgil’s face warmed and he looked away.

“Stop being nice or I’m gonna literally start crying,” he warned softly. Alex laughed, pulling him into a hug.

“Thanks.” They said, then pulled him over to the booth. “Logan, oh my god. You have… that was insane. Virgil’s my new personal bodyguard.”

“Am I getting paid?” Virgil asked with a grin.

“You’ll get paid in hugs,” Alex suggested.

“Fair enough.” Virgil stretched, looking at Mallory. “You alright, Mal? He didn’t hurt you did he?”

“N-n-no…” Mallory choked out, wiping her eyes. “I-I’m fine… just emotional… and… how the heck did you get him to go away?”

“I’m intimidating.” Virgil shrugged, slouching again.

“Virgil’s freaking swol!” Alex waved their hands around, still frazzled.

“I told you guys I worked out.” Virgil pointed out, meeting Logan’s gaze for a moment before stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking at the ground. “And that asshole had no right to talk to you, let alone touch you. He deserved more than just me scaring him.”

“I’m glad no-one was hurt.” Logan adjusted his glasses. “Are you two sure you’re alright?”

“I’m fine after seeing Virgil’s guns!” Alex grabbed Virgil’s arm again, smiling sheepishly when Virgil stepped away. “Sorry, sorry. I have a strength kin-”

“Alex, shut up!” Mallory punched them playfully.

“Okay, okay!” Alex held up their hands. “But yeah, Lo, I think we’re fine.”

“Good. We need to clean up or we’ll never be allowed to hold an event here again.” Logan turned back to the table, filing papers into his bag. Virgil laughed.

“Awe, come on.” he elbowed Logan playfully. “No need to be like that. We have plenty of time!”

“If we finish soon, I’ll buy us pizza,” Logan said without looking up from the table.

“I’ll gather chairs!” Alex yelled, turning on their heel and running toward the panel table. Mallory followed, laughing in amusement.

“Bribery.” Virgil chuckled.

“Works every time.” Logan glanced at him, smiling slightly. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Virgil frowned.

“Being a decent person.”

* * *

Virgil groaned, rubbing his eyes. What time was it? He squinted at his phone, which was buzzing beside him. Oh, that’s why he was awake at - was it seriously three in the morning?

“It’s three AM.” he said, not even checking the contact before he answered. 

“Ah, apologies.”

It was Logan. He fell silent after the statement, which was very unlike him. Virgil sat up, rubbing his eyes again.

“Logan?”

“That is my name.” Logan sighed softly. “I didn’t intend to wake you, Virgil. I just knew that you were most likely to still be awake.” Virgil laughed.

“You’d usually be right.” he confessed “but you keep telling me to get more sleep. Why are you up? What’s wrong?”

Logan sighed but didn’t say anything. Virgil scowled.

“Logan?”

“I have… done something illogical.” Logan finally stated. “And it seems to have caught up with me. Do you have a car?”

“A car- yeah, Logan where are you?” Virgil stumbled to his feet, pulling on his jacket. “What’s going on?”

“I am… do you recall the bridge outside of town, where we went stargazing?”

“Yeah.” Virgil grabbed his keys, hurrying to the door. “Why… where’s your car?”

“I walked here,” Logan said. “Which was, as I said, unwise.”

“Why on earth would you do that?” Virgil sighed, shaking his head. “Nevermind. I’ll be there soon, I-”

“Wait.” Logan’s voice shook - for the first time since Virgil met him - and Virgil realized he was scared. “Don’t… hang up. It would be unwise for me to be alone with my thoughts at the present moment.”

“Alone with-” Virgil’s stomach twisted. “Wh- okay. I… just… hold on. I’ll be there.”

That didn’t make sense. Logan… he was obviously not okay right now. But Virgil hadn’t known Logan was struggling with anything but classes - he even had a good relationship with his parents! So what on earth was going on?

“I’ll be here when you arrive,” Logan said.

“How long have you been… it’s three in the morning!” Virgil stammered, pulling out of the parking lot.

“I went on a walk to clear my thoughts,” Logan replied. “It was unsuccessful, and I came here instead of going back to my dorm room.”

Virgil tried his best to keep talking to Logan as he made his way toward the bridge. It was a fifteen-minute drive - and Logan’s dorm room was even further away than Virgil’s apartment was. He must have been walking for ages.

Logan was looking at the sky when Virgil pulled up, arms rested casually on the railing.

“Logan.” Virgil grabbed his shoulder and pulled Logan around, terrified to see tear tracks on the other's face. “Lo… oh god,” he pulled Logan into a hug, shaking his head. “You need to talk to me, Logan. We’re friends, that’s what we do.”

“Yes.” Logan sighed, resting his head on Virgil’s. “I do apologize, Virgil. I never intended-”

“You better intend!” Virgil snapped. “You better intend to tell me every time you don’t feel perfect! What if I hadn’t answered, huh? What if my phone was dead, or on silent, or I was pissed off because of how early it is and I didn’t answer! Would you have called anyone else?”

“...no.”

“Not even Bella?” Virgil couldn't help but be slightly surprised. Bella was Logan’s girlfriend - he’d assumed they were closer than he was with Logan.

“No.” 

“What would you have done?” Virgil demanded, eyes burning. Logan didn’t reply for a moment, but Virgil refused to fill the silence.

“Something I would have regretted.” he finally choked out, shoulders shaking. Virgil held him tighter as Logan started to sob, gripping Virgil’s jacket tightly.

“Please talk to me,” Virgil said after a few minutes when Logan’s sobs had faded away.

“I…”

“Logan.”

“We argued.” Logan finally murmured. “In theory, she said she didn’t care if I was polyamorous. Or bisexual. That she wanted me to be happy.”

“...Bella?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Virgil squeezed Logan reassuringly. 

“I just… attempted a simple discussion.” Logan whispered. “About the hypothetical situation of me dating… someone else in addition to her. I am not good with words, perhaps she didn’t understand, perhaps…” Logan shook his head. “Perhaps she thought she would fix me.”

“You don’t need fixing.” Virgil snapped. “You’re fine the way you are. Poly, Bi, it doesn’t matter. You’re still Logan. And if she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t deserve you.”

“Thank you.” Logan sighed, hands falling from Virgil’s shoulders. He laughed sadly, meeting Virgil’s gaze with watery eyes. “I suppose I’m lucky.”

“Wh-” Virgil blinked. That was a complete u-turn on the topic. “Lucky?”

“I’m lucky to have met you,” Logan said sheepishly, turning and looking up the sky. Virgil’s face warmed considerably, voice dying in his throat.

Oh.


	2. Part Two: Logan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna update this sooner but Logan is SO HARD TO WRITE. I DON'T UNDERSTAAAAAAND :( anyway, I finally managed to get this chapter finished!
> 
> Warnings: mentions of suicidal thoughts, self-deprecation, food mentions, mentions of arguments, transphobia, conflicted feelings, fluff, and angst.
> 
> Enjoy! <3

Logan wouldn’t say he was a very emotional person, really. Sure, it was a fact that everyone had some kind of emotion, but he just didn’t feel his emotions very much. That’s why, the night he and Bella argued, he was confused and horrified at the very sudden, very dark emotions he felt.

So, as he always did when he had to think, he took a walk.

A walk that ended with him contemplating an idea he’d never entertained before.

Would anyone miss him?

Logically, he knew he’d be missed if he died. The GSA might get shut down without him, and he had a shift at work on Monday that would need to be covered. Bella would likely blame herself for his death if he were to die in that way. His friends… well, Logan wasn’t sure. He was always mostly silent when he was with them, and doing homework. He wasn’t like them.

Then there was Virgil, who had come to pick Logan up. 

Oh, how Logan despised his complicated emotions when it came to Virgil.

He knew, logically (once again), that bisexuality was perfectly valid and not at all transphobic. He knew that. He truly did. One of his mothers was Bisexual, in fact. Not to mention, he’d liked Virgil before knowing he was transgender.

But Virgil didn’t know that. Virgil had no idea how Logan felt about him. Virgil was an anxious person, and Logan had just come out of a relationship with a cisgender woman. Who knew how he would take that? What if-

“I can hear you thinking from here,” Virgil said softly as they pulled into the parking lot at his apartment. Logan frowned.

“You can take me home…”

“Are you serious?” Virgil turned and stared at him. Logan winced at the fear in his eyes. “After what just happened? I’m not leaving you alone right now, Logan. I’m sorry, I just…”

“Alright.” Logan swallowed, then took a deep breath. “Thank you, Virgil. You are… a good friend.” Virgil smiled, turning off his car.

“I try my best.” He rubbed his eyes. “So what’re you thinking over there, brainiac?”

“Just-”

“And you better not make something up,” Virgil added as they got out and walked toward the building. “Friends talk to friends.”

Logan sighed, pushing his dreadlocks out of his face.

“Emotions are irritatingly confusing,” he explained shortly. Virgil chuckled, pulling out his key and jamming it into the lock. “And what makes it worse, is I have no way to understand or control what someone else is feeling.”

“You’re not wrong about that.” Virgil stretched, pulling off his hoodie and throwing it on the couch. As always, the sight of his arms made Logan’s heart beat a bit faster. Infuriating. “You wanna sleep on the bed or the couch? I probably won't get back to sleep again tonight.”

“I doubt I’ll sleep, either.” Logan sighed, pulling off his glasses and cleaning them on his shirt. 

“Great.” Virgil went to the cupboard and pulled out two mugs. “We’ll have hot chocolate, then. And we’ll have a lot more time to talk.”

“Talk?” Logan asked warily, leaning on the counter. He rubbed his forehead. “About what?”

“Yeah right.” Virgil scoffed. “You know what. You had a fight with your girlfriend, went on a walk, and ended up on a bridge with a bad mindset. You’re not the only person who… other people have shitty mental states.”

Logan laughed lightly, adjusting his glasses.

“I wasn’t going to jump,” he said softly. Virgil just stared at him for a moment, then nodded.

“Alright.” he folded his arms and copied Logan’s frown. “What were you thinking about?”

“I wasn’t going to jump,” Logan repeated. “Though the thought crossed my mind. I was being unrealistic, wondering if I truly impact anyone in the world at all. Obviously I do, on some mundane level, but I would never act on these thoughts. They aren’t a common occurrence.”

“Well, that’s good.” Virgil turned back to the stove, shoulders slumping.

“And…” Logan sighed, forcing himself to look at Virgil. Virgil met his gaze, those steely gray eyes holding emotions that, as usual, Logan couldn't understand. “Emotions make everything more complicated,” Logan muttered. 

“It’s not like you to repeat yourself.” Virgil chuckled, pouring water into the mugs and adding the chocolate powder. “D’you want milk? I don’t have any marshmallows.”

“No need.” Logan accepted the mug gingerly.

“What’s all this about emotions?” Virgil probed, a cheeky smile on his face. “You’re not the most expressive one, L.”

“So I’ve heard.” Logan took a sip of cocoa, wincing as he burned his tongue slightly. “Which just makes it more complicated when trying to explain myself.”

“This about Bella, or the thoughts?” Virgil asked.

“Neither, truthfully.” Logan shrugged. “If you mean the argument, yes. This is about the argument I had with Bella earlier tonight.”

“The one about a hypothetical situation where you date someone else.” Virgil clarified. Logan nodded, avoiding his gaze. “Do I know this hypothetical person?”

“Virgil!” Logan complained, glaring at him. Virgil laughed, holding up a hand helplessly.

“Alright, sorry. I know that’s not what you wanna talk about right now. You just broke up with your girlfriend - not a good time to play wingman.” Logan hummed, taking another sip of cocoa instead of replying. “Or,” Virgil mused. “It’s the best time to play wingman. I can keep a secret, Logan. Who is it?”

“You are not making this easy,” Logan muttered accusingly. 

“Let’s get all that annoying emotion outta the way.” Virgil set down his mug. “I’m a robot. I can’t react in any way to what you’re about to say. Go for it.”

“You.” Logan closed his eyes, bracing himself for anything. 

“What are you talking about?” Virgil laughed, brushing the hair out of his face.

“It’s you.” Logan groaned, putting a hand over his face. “You are the hypothetical person. You’ve been the hypothetical person since I met you at the gym. The only problem is emotions, which I am awful at expressing, and the fact that I never wanted to make you more anxious or stressed about anything. Which, again, I’ve utterly failed at.”

“Oh.” 

Logan slowly opened his eyes, peaking around his hand to see Virgil’s face. He seemed… surprised? That made sense.

“I’m sorry.” Logan sighed. “I do not want to ruin our friendship, Virgil. But you did tell me to just blurt it out.”

“Logan.” Virgil laughed, pulling Logan’s hand away from his face and grinning, reaching up with his other hand to push Logan’s dreadlocks away. “Hypotheticals are fine and all, but wouldn’t it be better if it was real?”

“Wh…” Logan’s eyes widened and Virgil laughed, pulling him into a gentle hug.

“God, we’re both so oblivious,” Virgil muttered into his shoulder. Logan hugged him back, mind racing. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Thank you for hearing.”

* * *

“I KNEW IT!” Alex yelled when they walked over to the usual table. Logan frowned, then realized he was still holding Virgil’s hand. “I knew it, Mallory! Ten bucks!”

“Wh- what the hell?” Virgil pulled his hand away to throw his arms in the air. “You guys knew?”

“It was kinda obvious…” Mallory shrugged, passing the bill over to Alex. “I just didn’t think either of you would ever say anything about it.”

“You’re both jerks,” Virgil muttered. Logan smiled, kissing his forehead. Virgil scowled playfully at him. “You wanna get added to that list? I’m all embarrassed already.”

“Ah, apologies.” Logan stepped back, chuckling.

“Oh, yeah,” Alex spoke up again when Logan and Virgil had taken their seats. “Bella called and wanted to inform me that you were a regular at several strip clubs, Logan. Why she thought I’d care is beyond me. What happened?”

“We broke up,” Logan said softly, heart aching at the words. He did love Bella - but it was obvious she didn’t care for him in the same way. “It’s a long story.”

“Hey, why don’t you use the money you won betting on us to buy me lunch?” Virgil asked, kicking Alex under the table.

“I can-”

“Nah, he’s right.” Alex laughed, slipping the bill across to Virgil. “We shouldn’t bet on friends.”

“Damn, you got them to admit it.” Mallory slapped her forehead, handing Virgil a five-dollar bill. Virgil grinned.

“Virgil…” Logan stifled laughter as Alex sputtered indignantly.

“What? Now I have fifteen bucks, and I’ve proven my point.” Virgil said smugly.

“You are a cruel man,” Alex muttered. Virgil shrugged.

“Well, if you want me to toilet paper Bella's house,” Mallory said as she stood up, grabbing her backpack. “Let me know.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Logan chuckled softly. “You really should schedule better, though, you have ten minutes to get to class.”

“Ah, shit.” Mallory looked at her watch, then grabbed Alex’s arm. They yelped, but let her drag them to their feet. “Come on, dumbass. Leave the lovebirds alone.”

“We will talk later!” Alex yelled as they and Mallory hurried from the cafeteria. Logan watched them fondly.

“See?” Virgil nudged him. “I’m not the only one who’d miss you.”

“I suppose the two of them would be upset,” Logan nodded. “I already told you, Virgil. I was never going to-”

Virgil leaned over and kissed him, one hand pulling him down by the tie. After a moment he leaned back, smirking.

“What was that for?”

“You get too in your own head sometimes.” Virgil shrugged. “Sorry, probably should have asked first.”

Oh. Logan hadn’t even thought of that, though it was true.

“Whadda you say we get to class, too?” Virgil stood, holding out his hand. “You desperately need help with the design final.”

Logan groaned at the reminder but took Virgil's hand as they walked toward the art building. He was no good at design. He wasn’t that great at psychology, either, but that was just because he had a lot going on. Work, the GSA, the problems with Bella recently… being lost in thought like he was right now.

“You almost ran into that column.” Virgil chuckled, tugging Logan a bit closer to him. “What’s going on with you?”

“Just thinking.” Logan shrugged, adjusting his glasses. “Sorry, Virgil.”

“Ah, thinking.” Virgil nodded, tapping his chin. “I used to do that.” Logan rolled his eyes and Virgil chuckled. “What, you don’t think I’m funny?”

“I don’t understand most humor.” Logan shrugged. “Including yours.”

“Awe, you’re like a sweet giant robot.” Virgil teased. Logan smiled at that, kissing Virgil’s forehead again. “Just because you’re taller than me doesn’t mean you can do that all the time.”

“Oh..” Logan winced guiltily. “Apologies… would you prefer I didn’t?”

“Not without warning, I guess.” Virgil shrugged. “I haven’t really been close to anyone for a while after I came out to my parents.” Logan nodded, deciding not to prod. He knew Virgil had a complicated relationship with them, and it wasn’t in his place to ask about.

“I’ll do better,” Logan promised, squeezing Virgil’s hand gently. Virgil smiled, returning the gesture.

“You should do better at graphic design, too, if you wanna pass the class.” he teased.

* * *

“Logan.” Logan looked up slowly, feeling exhausted as soon as he heard her voice. Bella stood in front of him, wringing her hands. She looked… not good. Logan winced, feeling for some reason like it was his fault. “Logan, I’m…”

“You attempted to spread rumors about me,” Logan said softly.

“I was drunk,” Bella mumbled, face flushing as she looked at the floor. “And I’m sorry, Logan. I just… I thought I could be enough for you.”

“We aren’t having this conversation,” Logan said, rubbing his eyes. “It’s over, and it has been for weeks. Please.” 

“No, Logan, listen.” Bella waved her hands. “I’ve rehearsed this like five times with my roommates, just let me apologize!”

Logan sighed, closing his textbook.

“Alright.”

“You told me when we started dating that you were bisexual,” Bella said, tugging on a strand of hair. “And I told you I was fine with that. I don’t understand polyamory, but I was fine with that as well. Then… when you wanted to have a calm civilized talk, I freaked out. And I hurt you. And I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have, and I know that. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t try to justify it because it isn’t justifiable.”

“Bella,” Logan stood slowly, rubbing his forehead. “I do care for you.”

“I know.”

“And I do wish things had worked out differently.”

“So do I, and I thought that maybe-”

“But they didn’t.” Logan swallowed thickly, hating the conflicted emotions swimming through his head. “I still care for you, Bella. But the fact that what happened happened… it changes how I care for you.”

“Logan…”

“We cannot get back together,” Logan said softly. “Even if you are comfortable with me and my sexuality. It would be unfair to the people we’ve talked to about this, it would be unfair to both of us, and it would cause more strain and anxiety in our relationship.”

“...I forgot you’re a psychology major.” Bella laughed, wiping her eyes. “That makes sense, I guess. I just… I did want to apologize.”

“It is appreciated.” Logan sighed. “I probably owe you one as well, I said and did some unfair things that night. So, I’m sorry.”

“So…” Bella took a deep breath, standing a bit taller. “What now?”

“Now,” Logan sat back down. “I must get back to studying.” Bella laughed at that. “We are still friends, Bella.”

“Well, that’s good,” Bella mumbled. “I’ll leave you alone now. See you in Chemistry, right?”

“Unless one of us dies before then,” Logan replied, nodding in farewell. 

Bella walked away, and Logan looked back at his textbook, eyes blurred with tears.

He really hated emotions.

* * *

“D’you wanna talk about it?” Virgil asked softly, playing with Logan’s dreadlocks. Logan sighed, resting his head on top of Virgil’s. 

“I do not, really,” he mumbled. “Though it’s a fact that I will feel better after doing so.”

“Yeah?” Virgil laughed softly, moving back to look up at Logan. Logan’s heart melted. It was incredibly unfair that Virgil was so pretty.

“Bella approached me in the library,” Logan said softly, shoulders falling.

“Oh.” 

“She apologized, and it was clear she wanted to attempt our relationship again.” Logan closed his eyes miserably. “And I know I was right to refuse, but… I do care for her.”

“Of course you do.” Virgil hugged Logan gently. “Things are complicated, Logan. If you’re sure about a decision, stick with it.”

“I just feel guilty.” Logan sighed. “It’s not like I have moved on from her, but I’ve started dating you. Why…”

“You liked me since before you two broke up.” Virgil pointed out. Logan nodded. “And… y’know I’d be fine with you dating other people. You’re polyamorous, right? It’s not your fault. As long as we can actually talk.” he elbowed Logan gently. “I’m chill.”

“Oh.” Logan would love to say he hadn’t thought of that. Hadn’t wondered how Virgil felt. 

“And like, I’m still figuring out most of the shit with my sexuality,” Virgil added with a chuckle. “I spent a lot of time figuring out gender - which I still don’t really get.”

“I… appreciate you saying that.” Logan couldn't help but feel relieved.

“So, now the question or all questions.” Virgil scooted off of Logan’s lap to sit next to him on the couch. “Do you want to be in a relationship with Bella?”

Oh, Logan hated emotions. 

“It would be unwise.” He said softly. “I must focus on my own mental health, Virgil. I do want her, and I do love her. But the events that caused us to separate in the first place… it would tarnish any romantic relationship we ever attempt together. I couldn't do that to either of us.”

“Alright then.” Virgil shrugged, brushing hair from his face. “You’re smart, Logan. I think you can make the best decisions for yourself. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am happy.” Logan laughed, brushing tears away before taking off his glasses to clean them. “I am also horribly conflicted.”

“Let’s watch a documentary, then.” Virgil grabbed the remote, leaning against Logan’s shoulder as he turned on the TV. “A distraction never hurts, right?” 

“False, but in this situation, I can allow it.” Logan wrapped an arm gently around Virgil’s shoulders, watching as Virgil skipped through their collection and settled on a documentary about spiders. 

He really didn’t know how he ended up with such an amazing boyfriend, but Logan certainly wasn’t complaining.

* * *

“You got a Christmas card,” Logan said when Virgil walked in, soaking wet from the rain.

“From who?” Virgil asked, voice immediately edged with anger and anxiety. Logan looked at him in surprise, then flipped the envelope over.

“There’s no return address.” He handed it over, and Virgil looked at it with a grimace. “What’s going on, Virgil? We’re friends. Friends talk to each other.”

“It’s probably from my parents,” Virgil said, shoulders falling. Logan frowned, glancing from the envelope to Virgil’s face. He didn’t know much about Virgil’s family, but he did know there was some tension. “W- they addressed it to Virgil.”

“Yes…”

“They’ve never… they’ve never used that name before. I haven’t talked to them in over a year, either.” Virgil sank into a chair, lying the envelope on the table before him. 

Logan went to the cupboard, getting out their mugs. Virgil was very fond of hot chocolate, especially when he was stressed.

“Are you going to open it?” Logan asked after a moment. Virgil sighed, rubbing his eyes.

“Hell, it might not be them. Maybe it’s like, from a dentist or some shit. Sure, I’ll open it. But if it's from them we’re gonna set it on fire.”

“As long as we do so outside, I think that’s alright.” 

Logan laughed, finishing up the mugs of cocoa and putting one before his boyfriend. Virgil smiled in appreciation, ripping the envelope open gently. Logan watched as a mix of emotions ran across his face. Virgil read through the card's message several times before putting it down, picking up his cocoa instead.

“Virgil?”

“It's from my brother,” Virgil said softly. “And my parents… I guess.” Logan waited a moment longer before Virgil looked at him, eyes glistening, and grinned. “He’s such a goddamn idiot… but he changed.”

“That’s a good thing, I hope?” Logan asked.

“Yeah, yeah it’s a good thing.” Virgil looked down at the card. “I have no idea what to do, Logan. I just… I thought they’d never accept me.”

“Thoughts are complicated,” Logan noted, sitting next to Virgil and taking his hand.

“Yeah.” Virgil wiped his eyes, laughing sadly. “I wonder what changed their minds.”

“Well,” Logan hummed, tugging a second scrap of paper from the envelope, revealing a list of phone numbers belonging to Virgil’s family. “You could always ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rough. I'm really not good at writing Logan... that's the reason like half of my WIPS are unfinished TBH he's just so difficult to write!!!! :( ah well.
> 
> Love you all,
> 
> -Coby

**Author's Note:**

> ahhh they're two useless gays. Next part is from Logan's POV! ^-^
> 
> Love you all,
> 
> -Coby


End file.
